The Origin of Boxing

On the first day, The Brick punched the sky, cracking it open to let in the sun and the moon and the stars.

On the second day, The Brick punched the earth and created the valleys and the mountains.

On the third day, The Brick punched Himself, and from the shards that were knocked off His body He formed the plants and the animals and the People of the Land.

On the fourth day, The Brick looked down on what He had created and was happy, so He knocked off early and went to the pub.

For an Age the People of the Land lived in harmony, safe in the knowledge that The Brick was watching over them, or at least would be back by dinner time once the game had finished on Foxtel.

But after another Age had passed, the People of the Land grew anxious at the lack of reply to their prayers to The Brick. Some said this was a test of their Faith, and that The Brick helped those who helped themselves. Some said The Brick had simply passed out in the gutter and would be back in the morning. Then some People said there was no Brick at all, and that He was just a sociological construct designed to placate the masses. Then some other People said you better shut up with your pinko lefty crap or there will be Trouble. Then the other People said yeah, you and whose army bud?

So the Age of Harmony turned into the Age of Argument which turned into the Age of Pushing And Shoving which turned into the Age of Fighting.

The fighting started off mostly harmless. But one day someone discovered the forbidden art of Hitting People with Sticks. Soon after, Throwing Stones was discovered, which escalated quickly into Samurai Swords and AC10 Warthogs.

The fighting grew so loud that it woke up The Brick where He had been having forty winks a couple of dimensions over. The Brick returned to the Land and when He saw what had happened, He was Not Happy. With a mighty blow He smashed the armies of the People and yelled "Knock It Off, I've Got A Massive Headache And I Am Trying To Get Some Sleep, Alright? If You're Going To Fight, Do It Quietly, Just Use Your Fists Or Something. Jeez."

And that is why it is forbidden in the Land to start any construction work Early In The Morning.

And any fights are to be settled by boxing.

Or MMA.