Typography Scrabble

Looking forward to the single font editions. 

Nabokov on Chess Problems

It is one thing to conceive the main play of a composition and another to construct it. The strain on the mind is formidable; the element of time drops out of one’s consciousness altogether: the building hand gropes for a pawn in the box, holds it, while the mind still ponders the need for a foil or a stopgap, and while the fist opens, a whole hour, perhaps, has gone by, has burned to ashes in the incandescent cerebration of the schemer.

The chessboard before him is a magnetic field, a system of stresses and abysses, a starry firmament. The bishops move over it like searchlights. This or that knight is a lever adjusted and tried, and readjusted and tried again, till the problem is tuned up to the necessary level of beauty and surprise. How often have I struggled to bind the terrible force of White’s queen so as to avoid a dual solution! It should be understood that competition in chess problems is not really between White and Black but between the composer and the hypothetical solver (just as in a first-rate work of fiction the real clash is not between the characters but between the author and the world), so that a great part of a problem’s value is due to the number of ‘tries’—delusive opening moves, false scents, specious lines of play, astutely and lovingly prepared to lead the would-be solver astray. But whatever I can say about this matter of problem composing, I do not seem to convey sufficiently the ecstatic core of the process and its points of connection with various other, more overt and fruitful, operations of the creative mind, from the charting of dangerous seas to the writing of one of those incredible novels where the author, in a fit of lucid madness, has set himself certain unique rules that he observes, certain nightmare obstacles that he surmounts, with the zest of a deity building a live world from the most unlikely ingredients—rocks and carbon, and blind throbbings. 

In case of problem composition, the event is accompanied by a mellow physical satisfaction, especially when the chessmen are beginning to enact adequately, in a penultimate rehearsal, the composer’s dream. There is a feeling of snugness (which goes back to one’s childhood, to play-planning in bed, with parts of toys fitting into corners of one’s brain); there is the nice way one piece is ambushed behind another, within the comfort and warmth of an out-of-the-way square; and there is the smooth motion of a well-oiled and polished machine that runs sweetly at the touch of two forked fingers lightly lifting and lightly lowering a piece.

Problems are the poetry of chess. They demand from the composer the same virtues that characterize all worthwhile art: originality, invention, harmony, conciseness, complexity, and splendid insincerity.

So, 'aitch' vs 'haitch' is apparently a thing.

I think I say 'haitch'.

Australia, it seems, is divided between those who merrily sing 'The haitch bone is connected to the thigh bone' and those who sternly retort that, on the contrary, It is the 'aitchbone that is connected to the thigh bone', whatever the aitch bone may be.Of all the grizzles we receive about grammar and pronunciation, complaints about the letter H, like Abou ben Adhem, lead all the rest. Forget the contention between Melbourne and Sydney, workers and management, cantaloupes and rock melons, Patrick’s and wharfies: these are as nothing compared with the Great Australian Divide—between those who pronounce the letter H as haitch, and those who pronounce it as aitch.

The Haitchers, bless ’em, are not the ones who complain. The Aitchers, however, are a different kettle of cod. They see the spread of ‘haitching’ throughout Australian society as a measure of its linguistic, even moral, disintegration. In short, they believe, it is barbarous and ab(h)ominable.

H AS AN AB(H)OMINABLE LETTER

Which brings me to Shakespeare. In Love’s Labour’s Lost the silly pedant Holofernes, a schoolmaster, rages against those who mispronounce English words (‘rackers of orthography’ he calls them). The ‘racker’ is one who would ‘speak "dout" fine when he should say "doubt"; "det", when he should pronounce "debt"; d e b t, not det ... this is abhominable, which he would call "abominable" ’.

It is clear from this that Holofernes wants the /b/ sounded in doubt and debt. As a pedant he knows that doubtcomes from Latin dubitare where the b is indubitably pronounced. What he does not know is that the word came into English from the French and the French word is b-less to the eyebrows: hence, as the early fourteenth-century Cursor Munditells us of Doubting Thomas the Apostle, ‘lange he dutid’ (‘long he doubted’). Likewise, the word debt was borrowed into English from French as det, the b being artificially forced into the word by sixteenth-century pedants like Holofernes himself because its Latin etymon was debitum. And, triumphantly, he wants an /h/ (or a /h/) intruded into and sounded in abominable. Again, this is on etymological grounds. As a Latinate pedant, he thinks that this word ultimately goes back to Latin ab homine (‘away from man’, hence ‘beastly’), when in fact he is wrong—it comes via French from Latin abominabilis,‘deserving of imprecation or abhorrence’, from abominari,‘to deprecate as an ill omen’. The passage demonstrates the precarious status of those linguistic pedants who appeal to the history of the language. Linguistic history is a double-edged sword. Or, as a famous mixer of metaphors once pointed out, by appealing to linguistic history, one can be ‘hoist on’ one’s ‘own petard’. (Apropos of nothing much, I wonder idly whether Shakespeare knew that petard, ‘an explosive device or bomb’, derives from the French verb peter ‘to fart’.) Holofernes is Shakespeare’s great warning about linguistic history—beware of linguistic pedants, even if they do know where petard comes from!

'You Must Die' in Chinese is pronounced 'Facebook'

Kindle Touch

I don't understand people who think, 'wow, I have nice, slim and sleek device here. I'm going to put an ugly sticker over it and shove it into a huge bulky, ugly cover that completely hides it.'

Furrier?

courtesy of Samizdat (cool name).

CYOA

Great analysis of these books. Especially this one where there is:

a catastrophic ending seen in the third row from the bottom. This was a punishment page that could only be reached by cheating. Unlike most other endings in the book it does not offer to let you continue the story from a few pages back but instead calls you a cheater and leaves you with no choice but to start over from the beginning

Outer Space

Talk about prolific: Dude can't stop writing books

Latvian Jokes

Is dead dog in road. Is dead Latvian in road. What difference?
Dog have fur keep warm. Also, freedom. And dog try eat poop for pleasure not just survive. So many thing!

Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have sent Siberia! “More bread for me,” man think. But bread have worm.

Aurora: This ain't your grandad's space 4X

George Saunders: CommComm

Tuesday morning, Jillian from Disasters calls. Apparently an airman named Loolerton has poisoned a shitload of beavers. I say we don’t kill beavers, we harvest them, because otherwise they nibble through our Pollution Control Devices (P.C.D.s) and polluted water flows out of our Retention Area and into the Eisenhower Memorial Wetland, killing beavers.

“That makes sense,” Jillian says, and hangs up.

The press has a field day. “air force kills beavers to save beavers,” says one headline. “murdered beavers speak of air force cruelty,” says another.

“We may want to PIDS  this,” Mr. Rimney says.

the New Yorker

O'Hara: Appointment in Samarra

A merchant in Baghdad sends his servant to the marketplace for provisions. Shortly, the servant comes home white and trembling and tells him that in the marketplace he was jostled by a woman, whom he recognized as Death, and she made a threatening gesture. Borrowing the merchant's horse, he flees at top speed to Samarra, a distance of about 75 miles, where he believes Death will not find him. The merchant then goes to the marketplace and finds Death, and asks why she made the threatening gesture. She replies, "That was not a threatening gesture, it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Baghdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."

Gaffes. This was written in 1984 - 28 years ago.

We have reached a political nadir of some sort if the Democratic Party candidate for the leadership of the free world is chosen on the basis of a casual remark about New Jersey. Yet it seems possible history will record that Gary Hart lost his chance to be President when he stood with his wife, Lee, on a Los Angeles terrace and uttered these fateful words: “The deal is that we campaign separately; that’s the bad news. The good news for her is she campaigns in California, and I campaign in New Jersey.” Lee Hart mentioned that in California she’d held a Koala bear, and the Senator added in mock rue that in New Jersey he’d held “samples from a toxic waste dump.”

The TV networks played this incident very big, the analysts of the print media went to work on it, and it appears to have blossomed into a gaffe. This could cost Hart the New Jersey primary—and therefore, everyone agrees, any hope of the nomination.

The “gaffe” is now the principal dynamic mechanism of American politics, as interpreted by journalists. Each candidacy is born in a state of prelapsarian innocence, and the candidate then proceeds to commit gaffes. Journalists record each new gaffe, weigh it on their Gaffability Index (“major gaffe,” “gaffe,” “minor gaffe,” “possible gaffe,” all the way down to “ironically, could turn out to be a plus with certain interest groups”), and move the players forward or backward on the game board accordingly.

Hart’s Jerseyblooper contained both of the key elements of the gaffe in its classically pure form. First, as explained in this space three weeks ago, a “gaffe” occurs not when a politician lies, but when he tells the truth. The burden of Hart’s remark was that, all else being equal, he’d rather spend a few springtime weeks in California than in New Jersey. Of course he would. So would I. So would Walter Mondale, no doubt, along with the vast majority of Americans, including, quite possibly, most residents of New Jersey. This doesn’t mean that California is more important than New Jersey, or even a better place to live and raise a family. It certainly doesn’t mean that people who live in California are superior to people who live in New Jersey. Quite the contrary. Just as youth is wasted on the young, California is wasted on Californians. Hart’s remark just means that California is more appealing than New Jersey as a place for someone from neither state to spend a few weeks.

The second element of the classic gaffe is that the subject matter should be trivial. Political journalism has evolved in somewhat the same direction as literary criticism, which is now dominated by people called deconstructionists. Deconstructionist criticism is indifferent to the literary value of the “text”—novel or poem or whatever—it is analyzing. The “text” is just grist for arcane and self-referential analysis. A work of no special merit is even preferable in a way, since it doesn’t distract from the analysis, which is the real show.

Similarly, political journalism dwells in its own world of primaries and polls. If necessary, journalists can take a significant fact such as Jesse Jackson’s continuing embrace of the repellent Louis Farrakhan—drain it of all its moral implications, and turn it into a gaffe. But campaign mechanics make for preferable subject matter. And the ideal “text” for political journalism to chew on is an episode of no real meaning or importance—such as a small joke about New Jersey—which can then be analyzed without distraction exclusively in terms of its likely effect on the campaign. The analysis itself, of course, is what creates that effect: a triumph of criticism the deconstructionists can only envy.

Once the press certifies that a gaffe has been committed by any candidate, the rules call for a quick round of lying by all of them. Here too, Jerseygate followed the classic pattern. Walter Mondale, in his patented serial-monogamy style, proclaimed “I love New Jersey” and swore there’s no place on earth he’d rather be. Hart asserted preposterously that all he’d really meant to complain of was having to fly across the country to meet his wife in California, rather than allowing her the pleasure of flying across the country to join him in New Jersey.

Journalists—stern enforcers of political etiquette—require politicians to tell these whoppers in order to put the campaign back on its proper course. Should a politician fail to lie at the first post-gaffe opportunity, the punishment would be headlines on the order of HART COMPOUNDS JERSEY GAFFE or MONDALE SPURNS JERSEY TOO.

So you can’t blame Mondale for following the script. But you can blame him for a repeat performance the next day, when he began by saying he was “not going to press the point” regarding Hart’s insufficient love of New Jersey, then repeated Hart’s remark, repeated his own demand for an apology, and spent several minutes doing variations on the theme. Mondale happened to be in New Jersey at the moment of Hart’s gaffe. But Mondale is spending nearly twice as much time in California as in New Jersey in the period leading up to both state primaries. What a sacrifice! And what should we make of what Mondale told a group in San Francisco in mid-May? “I saw this beautiful morning,” he said, “and for one sane moment I thought I would withdraw from the race and spend the rest of my life right here.” Right here? In California? Mondale seems to be saying that if he were sane, he would never step foot in his beloved New Jersey again. I think he should apologize. Sounds like a gaffe to me.

Daniel King analyses Game 4 of Anand - Gelfand World Championship Match

Onto a vast plain

You are not surprised at the force of the storm—
you have seen it growing.
The trees flee. Their flight
sets the boulevards streaming. And you know:
he whom they flee is the one
you move toward. All your senses
sing him, as you stand at the window.

The weeks stood still in summer.
The trees' blood rose. Now you feel
it wants to sink back
into the source of everything. You thought
you could trust that power
when you plucked the fruit:
now it becomes a riddle again
and you again a stranger.

Summer was like your house: you know
where each thing stood.
Now you must go out into your heart
as onto a vast plain. Now
the immense loneliness begins.

The days go numb, the wind
sucks the world from your senses like withered leaves.

Through the empty branches the sky remains.
It is what you have.
Be earth now, and evensong.
Be the ground lying under that sky.
Be modest now, like a thing
ripened until it is real,
so that he who began it all
can feel you when he reaches for you.

Rilke, Book of Hours, II 1

John Cage on boredom

Cage: Boredom is not so bad, and not really boring you know? This is something I've known all along from Zen Buddhism. You know that story, if something's boring after two minutes, try it for four. After four, try eight et cetera. Eventually you'll find that it's not boring at all.

Neo Deco

Prometheus

Ridley Scott, you bastard.

Lewis Chessmen

Brionvega rr 126

Robert Morris: Card File (1962)

Wedding Name Cards

Glen ‘Longshanks’ Brown: Gamekeeper of the Royal Estates to the north of the City, is a dead shot with his Massins & Tait custom made rifle. Came briefly to prominence during the Case of the Five Red Skulls owing to his particular knowledge of Mahunt tribal customs which he gained from his time in the Upper Nigerian Delta.

Kristen ‘Ruby’ Watts: Frequents many fashion salons across in the continent, and is a familiar face in most houses of Royalty. Generally provides accurate reports to the Home Office regarding the impenetrable web of plots and counter-plots most of the upper class are engaged in. Her government backed line of credit is up for review.

‘Madam’ Sze Wing Yip: Based in the market near Hemmersly Park, is the head of the local coven of Wiccans. Has been the subject of several investigations by the Department of Occult Occurrences, however no charges have been laid to date. Rumours persist she both caused the New Year’s Rift to open, and also closed it again.

Adam ‘Lord Westchester’ Banas: Sole remaining heir to the once great Westchester fortune, he has spent the last of his family’s wealth building a laboratory in the basement of his country estate where he spends much of his time, receiving packages marked with strange mail-stamps from Eastern Europe.

Caroline ‘Lady Westchester’ Banas: The famous ‘Baby on the Stairs’ from the Lewisham Affair, although few remember that fact and she is not inclined to remind people of it. It is now said she is only second in power to the Home Secretary himself when it comes to the ‘Spanish Question’ and effectively runs the government’s policy on the issue.

Jane ‘C.A. Dupin’ Roe: Amateur private detective. Has been of some use in investigations relating to missing persons, usually through improbable yet uncannily accurate leaps of mental logic. Generally operates with the Department of Occult Occurrences (the DOO) putting herself in considerable personal and mental danger. #348279348

Benjamin ‘Mr Stars’ Abell: Stationed at the American embassy as secretary-without-a-portfolio to the Ambassador. Undertakes the ‘bag work’ for the mission, with full diplomatic immunity. Is rarely seen in public however from the few appearances that he has made, it has been noted that he never seems to age. #382947238947

Keith ‘The Mad’ Mulhall: Kidnapped by Leprechauns as a small boy, he was blessed by the wee folk to always tell the truth, but cursed to be understood by no-one. His incomprehensible ramblings are taken to be the ravings of a lunatic which can only be stopped by copious amounts of alcohol. #984726342738

Miller ‘Miller’ Allison: The sole survivor from the Bravo expedition to the South Pole. Whatever horrors were faced on that ill-fated journey are kept secret from all but those who venture into his path during a new moon. Scotland Yard has set a watch on his house, and reports are coming in of strange miasmas flowing from the basement. #3489285239

Nick ‘The Trick’ Spackman: The latest in a series of confidence men seen frequenting the halls around St James. Differs from the usual run of the crowd that he only targets heirs of oil magnates. All suspected victims houses are found ransacked in the morning with all of the doors and windows locked from the inside. #982634728

Nathan ‘Wild Nate’ Gaddes: Last recorded sighting was during the ‘Illium Affair’ where he provided dubious assistance in tracking down the last heir to the Pelleton family. No fixed abode - but can be contacted by ringing the bell in the abandoned chapel on Rattinor Street, and leaving three Maria Theresa dollars on the old vestibule. #672374283

Sam ‘Deux la pile’ Morgan: Owner of the ‘La Vache’ bar on Cross street as well as several other dens in the Docklands. Has been raided several times on suspicion of illicit activities, but has always managed to be a step ahead. Several government MPs have been seen entering through the rear entrance of La Vache, where strange lights are showing. #7634923479623

Jessica ‘la Rouge’ Tang: The de facto boss of the Kowloon Gang since Shanghai Stan was caught. Still establishing her power base among the rougher elements, so turf wars with the neighbouring Six Axes gang have eased off. Suspected as the mastermind behind the theft of an entire season’s imports of cinnamon in a single night, her grip on power is assured. #928723

Jono ‘Fleet Street’ Roe: Beat reporter for the Evening Mercury. Although he scooped the ‘Harrington Scandal’ which ultimately led to the fall of the government, that was an exception to the general ‘yellow journalism’ that keeps the rag in print. Greatest proficiency lies in obtaining leaks over long long lunches and dinners. #29384729

William ‘Howling Willy’ Potts: Decorated veteran with service in India – fought in the ‘Mountain War’ in the foothills of the Himalayas. His regiment was cut off for three days in a snowstorm and when they re-emerged, they had all aged 20 years. No-one will tell what happened in those mountains and now he stands on the top of the Bailey, howling at the moon. #926342934

Charlotte 'le Papillon' Lecosse: When asked who would be starring in the lead role for the opening night of the Royal Ballet, the director merely smiled and said 'le Papillon... le Papillon'. The sensation of the season opened up to great effect with a performance in 'Arc d'argent', which, sadly, was never performed again. #2347293478

Stephanie ‘Dr Maelstrom’ Spackman: Chief Medical Researcher at the Diogenes Asylum for the Criminally Insane. Her experiments have drawn criticism from the academic community, however the results cannot be argued with. Residents in the neighbourhood of the asylum have noted all of their clocks stop at midnight, every Sunday night. #46738247362

La Mere: Having stepped down from her successful role with the Allegmaine Inquiry, she now has time to cultivate her award winning new hybrid strain of ‘Trieste’ roses. #463729347

Sam ‘Bulldog’ Raymond: Former sergeant-major in the Royal Sussex 95th regiment of foot. Having lost an eye to ‘a damned heathen’ he is generally found in the in the public bar of the Oak and Owl on Drury Lane. Carries a black wooden walking stick twisted into the shape of rolling crocodile that Tom Younghusband swears he saw move by itself.

James ‘Diamond’ Templeman: His reputation as the man who can get you what you want was sealed the time he was able to provide a giraffe to The Tall Man on only two hours notice. Runs most of the bare-knuckle and manticore-baiting fights down in the undercity where he will be most nights, drinking vodka with Russian émigrés. #9283424

Rebecca ‘Blackbird’ Morgan: Escaped the gallows after a three month trial returned a verdict of ‘not guilty’. Has gone back to trundling pies down Pettycoat Lane where her recent notoriety has done no harm to the volume of business. The only change from her previous routine is the store is now closed every Wednesday at 2pm. #843782946

Dharma ‘One Pint’ Deion: While usury is generally frowned upon, they are always needed and when all other options are exhausted, ‘One Pint’ is the lender of last resort. Has often been known to pay out loans in Spanish dubloons with the face of Charles IV, who died over three hundred years ago. #64832947

Ben ‘Pumphouse’ Garrow: Overseer on the floor at the Wiltshire & Wiltshire Mechanical Plant where he enforces the factory’s draconian work policy. Woe betide any worker who has to go ‘under the pump’. Keeps pigeons in his garrett attic and sells messenger birds from Tbilisi, Georgia. #0834729347

Clem ‘Harlequin’ Armstrong: The filibusterer who rode with Obediah ‘Rancorous’ Glanston against the Comanche; he now ekes out a living as a trickshooter with Monsieur Tzigane’s magic show by shooting holes in nickels that are between two sheets of paper - without breaking the paper. #78924739847

Ian ‘K.B’ Gant: Has just returned from a trip to Khiva in central Asia that he decided to visit simply because the Russian authorities had decreed no westerners were allowed to travel there. Traveling with little more than a rifle and some bottles of ‘Quinine’, he has returned as something of a celebrity. #6729343

Ed ‘Bezirksschornsteinfegermeister’ Chan: Head district chimney sweep for the Allegmaine region, his thick Dusseldorfer accent can be difficult to understand at times. Still maintains to this day that he once went up Lord Enderby’s main flu, and came down in Tapscot Hall, three miles away. #63284732

Aaron ‘Redbeard’ Finn: Head of the Lamplighter’s Guild, is leading the petition against these new fangled ‘electric’ lights. While scientists are convinced it will be impossible to generate enough power to light more than the manors of the ultra rich, the Guild is threatening to leave the city dark unless the government acts. #32934872

Jordan ‘Petunia’ Gaddes: Author of the recent bestseller which has created an entire new genre of fiction. Some have noticed the similarities in the novel to the freakish occurrence regarding Sir Garnet Tilsbury - however the author has replied there is no way she could have known that was going to happen at the time she wrote the book. #93264234

Phil ‘Calamity’ Coady: Is the reason why prisoners at the Margate Borstal have to wear masks. His trial was a seven day wonder where even the chancellor of the exchequer had to visit to give evidence under oath. Found guilty by a jury, his sentence was commuted from death to life through a bureaucratic error. #637294382

Mei ‘Dr Marrowsfield’ Garrow: Professor of medical studies at Chillingsworth University. Conducts coronial inquiries which are open to the public to visit and watch. The number of visitors has skyrocketed since the case of Jeremy Hardgraves who, as it turned out, was merely suffering from somnolent paralysis in extremis. #123917

Steve ‘Ballantyne’ Jamieson: Captain and opening batsman for the Chatham Street XI who made it to the final sixteen in last year’s tournament. Made a top score of 734 in the 13 day test match between the ‘Hammers’ and Lord Elphinstone’s XI. He has taken on a new spin bowler with a very odd action indeed. #3242048

Madonna ‘Vetrushka’ Mullens: Claims to be descended from a Moldovian Royal family, but is now destitute because ‘mother lived too long’. The claim can never be quite disbelieved as Vincente Trejillo, who knows about these things, always keeps a permanent reservation available for her at The Emigres Club. #734294724

Jessica ‘Panglossia’ Finn: Runs one of the most exclusive salons in Pemberly Park where none other than L____ is rumoured to appear from time to time. Some query whether the meeting between Allardyne and Mme Blanchard at her salon - which ultimately led to the resolution of the Railston question- happened entirely by chance. #20394284

Sandy ‘El Toro’ Morgan: Although his glory days in the bull-ring in Seville are behind him, he is still a regular attendee at the Cazadores Hotel where men can drink and tell true stories of women and of life and when it turns dark they will continue until the best of them can continue no more and will walk home in the rain. #203472834

Sheriden ‘the Countess ’ Lee: In her younger and more vulnerable years on Long Island she was renowned as quite the socialite. Most recently caught up in the Case of the Purloined Letter, she has baffled Scotland Yard who are not sure whether she is their best witness or their prime suspect. The matter continues... #9382404

Hillary ‘Elysee’ Spackman: Visiting lecturer at the LSE from the Augsburg School in Vienna. Main area of expertise is the arcane subject of cryptozoology which has seen a recent resurgence in popularity, especially since the discoveries of Sir Zelman Poole in the Amazon have been made public. #32904

Raymond ‘Typhoon’ Spackman: Went 137 rounds against the famed Blackpool Bramble under Queensbury rules, before finally landing the knockout blow. Has decided to come out of retirement for one final fight against the current champion - Greg ‘the Unstoppable’ Barrett who is also undefeated in his career. #93842462

James ‘the Mook’ Rigney Many people have asked through the years ‘just what, exactly, is a mook?’ Unfortunately the origins of the term have been lost in time. However, a recent find by the Sheldon Expedition in Abyssinia - who are excavating a previously unrecorded tomb from the late Bronze age - may yield some answers. #32943874

Rema ‘Lady Rambutan’ Derbas: Curator of the recent exhibition by Troussaint at the National Gallery where the controversial portrait of Her Royal Highness was first hung. Is now working on a new project with the City that has led to the closure of three whole city blocks - the only information given is that ‘it will be eerily humorous’. #02934824

Ingrid ‘Captain’ Oey: Recently returned from a successful trip to the Spice Islands carrying damask and a new limp. Some have remarked her ship, the ‘Reformed Pacifist’, has been sitting low on the waterline, even when fully unloaded of cargo and deckhands confirm no-one is allowed down into the bilges which have been triple-locked. #93428494

Sisiely ‘the Kyoto Rose’ Wong: Trained in the ancient arts of ‘shigeshuru’ which had been thought to be lost - the last known practitioner of that art disappeared in 1657 in mysterious circumstances. The skill set however is highly valued and she is believed to be currently in the service of Lord Wellesly. #839420423

Johnny ‘The Rebel’ Mulhall: Former anti-establishment figurehead turned lawman. He roamed through the west, making a name for himself as a quickdraw with a quicker temper. One of the only sheriffs to lose a star and then get it back through the capture of Rattlesnake Yuma. #12938123

Emily ‘Lady Gladstone’ Stephenson: The first women to break the Apollo Club’s standing orders, she has inspired many of the recent changes in policy. The Prime Minister will only ever refer to her as ‘the woman’, even when addressing Parliament. She is expected to make an announcement on her latest incitement soon. #6437284

Annette aka ‘the Yellow Rose’: Never seen without her remarkable headpiece she says she found in Calcutta. Owns half of the champion racehorse ‘Amber Blaze’ who won the recent Danvale Cup for half a million sterling. Rumor is about to break that she has now, through an intermediary, been placing bets against her own horse. #837426

Danielle ‘Van Zandt’ Gernandt: Her triumphal tour of the opera houses of Vienna, Milan and Zaragoza ended on a peculiar note when rather than sing the traditional aria from ‘Don Giovanni’, she sang the lesser known ‘De Kinasiska’. Some of her shows became increasingly remarked on and it is unknown if she will tour again. #3290482

Russell ‘the Admiral’ Hansen: Looking at his barometer he muttered to himself. It was low, the lowest he had ever seen it. But there was nothing else for it, the port of Saigon still lay 30 miles to windward and it would be a long night beating into the swell until the dawn. #240284

Eve ‘Dandelion’ Koh: Discovered by Lady Walton, she has turned heads in most of the fashion houses of Europe. Her fame has spread so fast she now has to travel by the assumed name ‘peony’ when travelling abroad for fear of being mugged by crowds of fans. #23490284

Mark aka ‘the Green Rajah’ Many believe his existence to be a legend spread by mischievous street urchins to strike fear into their fellow guttersnipes. However that cannot explain why Hotpie, usually dismissive of such stories, goes white and very quiet whenever his name is mentioned. #2049384

Judy ‘the Baroness’’ Yau: Head of the T.W.F which meets on the first Tuesday of every month. There was a slight scandal at last month’s meeting when Mrs Li revealed the recent theft, however in light of the extraordinary circumstances, it was agreed no more should be said about it. #1230919

Stanley ‘the Baron’ Yau: Rarely comes into town and prefers to maintain his estate to the south west of the city. There was some talk of his involvement in the failed coup d’etat against the old Marlybone government, however many have pointed out the (not so) obvious flaws in that argument. #98343242

Wendy ‘Porphyry’ Tien: Worked for many years as the assistant to the ‘Great Carduccio’ until the famous ‘final show’. Despite several inquiries, no charges were ever laid against her. She can now be found running a tote in the Guildsmith’s Quarter on races both within and without the 7 mile limit. #4304924

Cassia ‘Helga’ Munro: Thrown out of her own time by a violent surge in the 17th dimension, she has brought ruin and disfavour to bandersnatches and candyshriekers alike. Imitation vigilante groups have sprung up, however none are as feared as the blond bombasticated berzerker from Balongalongaloo. #0349237428

Vanessa ‘the Professor’ Williams: One of the great Dr Kepler’s last students, she has now assumed his old post at the University. Most of her students would be shocked to discover her moonlighting job that she goes to every Thursday, although it would explain to them the nervous tic that appears on Friday morning. #983424

Josh aka ‘the Harley Street Chevalier’: Leading a cell of one, he prints his own notorious pamphlets in his basement to distribute to workers at the close of business. Arrested several times for sedition, his current whereabouts are unknown. Suspected of being the mastermind behind the Stoke-on-Trent incident. #5696839

Carol ‘Sarawak’ Ng: Often sought out for her traditional remedies to common (and not so common) ailments. Will only accept as payment for her services items which the customer has owned for at least 14 years. She will always know if the item has been owned for a shorter period. #93472847

Ben aka ‘The Last Trujillo’: Was last seen riding into the Sarsaparilla badlands three years ago with Tall German Joe to look for the Hannity expedition. He promised he would return to the Old Post Office at the stroke of midday on the 3rd of next month. Rooms in the Carson Hotel across the road have been booked out for weeks. #23905

Leanne ‘La Mere’ Spackman: Having stepped down from her successful role with the Allegmaine Inquiry, she now has time to cultivate her award winning new hybrid strain of ‘Trieste’ roses. The Prime Minister has asked her to return to the cross benches however the press are certain not even that elevation could save the government. #3842947

Andrew ‘Beauchamp’ McKissock: Inventor of the ‘Tallesand Regulator’ which has been hailed as the greatest advancement in Garrolometry in over fifty years. There are claims by a Helvetican inventor that the plans for the regulator were drafted by him five years ago, but no proof of this has been forthcoming. #39402482

Grace ‘Jade’ Wang: Owner of the last known copy of the ‘Irredentalist’ manuscript, a 9th century illuminated copy of the Book of Romans. A text in the National Library states the manuscript was in fact written over a lost work of Aristotle, however any requests to view the manuscript closely have been refused. #094242

Kylie ‘the Wisp’ Attard: Long believed to be the author writing under the nom de plume ‘formidable’ whose monthly column in the Gazette tells of the latest salon room gossip. The theory was tested however when a column described, in some candid detail, her own involvement in the Calico Affair. #923472364

Amanda ‘Triple Aces’ Druce: Never one to shy away from a challenge, her latest enterprise will be to beat the great Robert Allcourt’s record that was set 73 years ago. The record was almost beaten last year, however the unusually warm weather meant any real possibility of succeeding had faded. #304823487

Rebecca ‘Staccato’ Liang: The world’s leading expert on Marjoram’s Condition and the effects it has on the nervous system. Spent several years in Siam where it is said a secluded group of monks have successfully been able to treat people with the condition through a process of expelling ‘bad humours’. # 46542834

The New Zealand company law

Came across a statement of the NZ law on companies.


A director of a company must not –


1. Agree to the business of the company being carried on in a manner likely to create a substantial risk of serious loss to the company's creditors; or


2. Cause or allow the business of the company to be carried on in a manner likely to create a substantial risk of serious loss to the company's creditors.


However


‘there is no obligation on directors to immediately cease trading as soon as the company becomes insolvent’.

Pretty weird.

Cinco de Mayo - it's coming